Read the complete story - Just a Little Tweak

Well, you look round the world, and it's obvious what the solution is, isn't it?

It just needs a little tweak

‘What the Zogrob are they up to this time?’ I peered down at them. Disappointment and disbelief came drifting in. ‘What are they doing?’

I studied them a little longer. ‘I dunno; you turn your back for two milli-mins, and what do you get? They’re at each other’s breathy bits like fongdongs in season.

‘Lauda Midey. Look at them, Tanri… Come here and look at this lot. You ever seen the like?’

Tanri drifted over. He studied.

I pointed to a few incidents that were occurring here and there; areas that were wrecked. ‘What the effling arbour are they up to?’

‘Dunno,’ Tanri pulled his usual totally baffled face. ‘Ain’t laid peeps on any like that before. How long since you looked in, y’ say?’

‘Oh, regular. Couple of milli-minis or so. It wasn’t anything like this back then.’

‘They gone wild, ain’t they?’

‘Haven’t they just. Yeee – look at that bunch down there. Can’t imagine how they got this bad. Certainly wasn’t in my planning and predictions to have this kind of outcome.’

‘No, I should think not. You’d have to be shaytan to set up a remit like this. What was the stock you started with?’

I ummed and ahhed a bit, thinking back. ‘The usual mix; mainly from the locality – all the same, basically. Wide genetic pool. Nothing special.’

‘It’s as if they know of some basic inner differences, and hate each other because of them.’

‘No – there just aren’t any – surface stuff only; and it’s all mixed up across the whole place. If they think there are deeper differences that cause them to fight each other, I’m afraid it’s what they’ve imagined.’

‘So, it’s just in their nature? Your gene-filtron mechanism went awry somewhere, then?’

I shruwled, pulled a despondent fasciana. ‘Maybe so. Some aberration crept in from somewhere— Oooo! See that lot? Going at each other— Ohhh, they’re ruining the whole area. Ooof!  Look what they’re doing there! Makes me wonder why I bother.’

‘This just isn’t natural, Isten. Shouldn’t be like this. Gone wild.’

‘But still in the pen.’

‘Maybe that’s the trouble – some aspects are developing, but they’re still penned in here, in their born planet. No seeming escape for them – so they take it out on each other?’

‘Yeah, they sure seem to be getting wilder, but there’s no wilderness to express it through. That what you’re thinking?’

‘Yes. Yeeps! Just look at that lot – tearing each other apart. Now that’s nothing but jealousy. There’s no reason for that – they got equal areas; started the same.’

‘It’s not the way I envisaged at all, Tanri.’

‘What? You were going for the peaceful, easy, get-along together, friends-with-everyone type of population and environs?’

‘Well, not totally – need a bit of competition as well as cooperation. I mean, we’d be raising smiley puddings if we went too far that direction.’

We re-surveyed the area.

‘So what y’ thinking, Isten? Completely wipe the place down to the ground and start again? Re-seed with fresh stock? Maybe experiment with that lot I tried in plot 5B – you said they were promising?’

‘Start again completely from fresh? No… too much trouble – I’m kinda busy these days. 5B? Don’t think so, though they are doing pretty well. Don’t feel the need for another bunch the same.’ I thought them. ‘No, definitely not – boring, or what?’

‘You could take some of the under-creatures here and try them without the top competition dominating them?’

‘What, from inside here, 8S?’ Hadn’t really thought of that. ‘Internal promotion?’

‘Sure, there’s a fair selection to choose from – must be something in there.’

I pondered… too much bother to do a complete wipe-and-restart here – bit wasteful on my time – and maybe the under-species, too. Might be something. ‘It’s not the wiping time, Tan. It’s all that re-stocking from fresh – takes time and effort.’

‘Tell me about it. See the time I wasted over the far side, on DV2? But, as I mentioned, some of the underlings in this pen might be suitable? You could do a selective wipe? That’d be easy enough for someone like you.’

‘Sure. No problem. Just get rid of all the dominants – don’t want to do half a job. It’d be over in less than a day.’

‘You think? Let’s muse the inventory… Yesss – certainly got the variety to pick from, huh?

Don’t want to waste too long on this place, huh? But, like you say – do a proper job while you’re at it. No half-measures.’

‘Yes, you’re right, Tanri.’

‘Well, you got quite a choice for runners-up spot, huh? How about the water-things there?’

I had a look at the specimens he highlighted. ‘No, maybe not… big, cumbersome things, rather blubbery for my taste – oily. Don’t have much potential in the foreseeable future.’

‘They wouldn’t need much of a genetic tweak, Isten.’

‘You can’t persuade me. I’m not keen on the sea-stuff, anyway – not after that run-in I had with Peshy over what was to be the main feature.’

‘Oh yes. Back on 3D? I remember; he didn’t like the idea of consuming his own offspring, did he?’

‘His own fault. Shouldn’t have so many. Besides – there’s much more potential on land. We can see them easier, too.’

‘Well, if it’s friendly you’re thinking of – how about them?’ He pointed to a group of land-based semi-aquatics. ‘Fine on land and water.’

‘Certainly the friendliest of the land creatures – see there? Get on well with anything. They live for a cuddle with practically anything. Capies, as I recall. Capybaras.’

‘Mmm, wouldn’t take much of a genetic swirl to re-direct their physique to be more practical-oriented – so they can handle things.’

‘Hmm, I dunno. In my experience, you give them hands, and they find mischief for them – however friendly they might be at first.’

‘Mmm, know what you mean. Thinking of D4, are you?’

‘Don’t remind me.’

‘Well… what’s it leave?’

‘Not sure – Not insects.’

‘Nothing that buzzes or slithers?

‘I’m thinking maybe one of the species that’s partly accustomed to the Dominants’ ways. Plenty of choice; bit of a tossup which, though.’

‘Oh? Right, which ones are you thinking of? I can see a couple of dozen species that co-habit with the dominants. See? They can cooperate if they try.’

‘No – it’s all domination with them. Most of the co-habitees let themselves be eaten, and say nothing.’

‘Well, it’s your place, Isten. Which ones then?’ Tanri gave me his had-enough-of-this expression – you know, that “wraith-a-little, swirl-a-bit” he can put on.

‘It’s got to be… these.’ I showed him, ‘which are my preference. Er… Or these…’

‘Oh, come on, Iisten. No contest. Case like this, the choice isn’t yours. You know what Mrs God’ll say, don’t you?’

‘Yeah, and I’m not going against her in a mood.’

‘So it’s Goodbye eight billion over-dominant humans; and dogs are still the runners-up?’

‘I guess.’ I was reluctant about it – I have this thing about dogs. But… ‘Okay, it’s going to be “Sorry, Dogs, Hello cats.”’

‘Reckon they could rule the world?’

‘Wouldn’t take much of a tweak with their insta-genes… not much at all – already act like they rule the planet.’

‘That it, then? You going for them?’

‘Might as well; haven’t got all day…’ One last look around…

‘It occurs to me, Isten…’

‘Wassat?’

‘Doing half a job might not be such a bad idea.’

‘How d’ya mean?’

‘Get rid of the men. Leave the cats and dogs as they are. Let the women rule. Half of them already do; it’s just the men who hold’em back.’

‘I think you’re right at that.’ I had a ten-milli-sec ponder. Hesitated. ‘Although, I see a tiny problem with that idea… Perpetuation of the species?’

‘What you thinking, Isten?’

‘Nothing… easily fixed.’ I breathed down upon the planet…

‘Just a little tweak…

‘There…

‘Hermaphrodite women rule, OK?’

Book 9 in the series out this September weekend "Cetacean Refrain"